It was not until I created my own religion, and philosophy that I truly came into my own spirituality, and understanding of mysticism. From there I could use my own understanding of the world in order to influence my magick in a personal way. It also allowed me for the first time after coming out from Christianity to be able to recognize the Divine again. Primarily because when I went through and practiced the understandings of the new age community, Wicca, and then eclectic neo-paganism I could never really connect with their understandings of the Divine. But, eventually once I came into my own I was able to find my own understanding for the divine. And, from then on I was able to see the Divine with my own eyes rather than the eyes of others.